Trauma in Sedona Part V--Drowned Rats and Suicide Pacts

Sure enough, as Savannah was exploring the rocks on the left side of the pool like some sort of Mountain Goat, Kaylee continued to follow Hunter and Abby around as though she was actually an animal of substance and not an overactive member of the rodent family. As she scurried about the rocks and sand, she attempted to jump the substantial pool of water to get to the side that Savannah was on and she sort of missed the attempted landing spot. Missed might be a bit of an exaggeration. She tried to shoot a three pointer from midcourt and landed at the top of the arc. Though she never had a chance to clear the pool, at least she could have gotten close enough to hit the rim. Not this time--splash down into the frozen muck, somewhat reminiscent of Meemaw dropping Lauren a few months back, but somewhat different this time. She looked like a cotton ball attached to a drowning moth as it went down in a toilet bowl. As entertaining as it may have been to watch, soon Shari realized that her rat was not in plain sight and Kim made some comment like "Oh, my God--Kaylee! Kaylee!"
This was followed by Shari panicking as though her first born was trapped in that snake pit from Raiders of the Lost Ark. The grunting and squirming as she kept making her way to the slick rocks and I started to feel badly for the rat. No matter how insignificant in size she might be, it is tough to watch an animal suffering like that, and as yippy as she can be, I didn't want to see her drown in a toilet bowl sized puddle--not today anyway. Kim screamed at me, "Josh, get her out! Josh!" I reached down and grabbed a hold of her and she let out a yelp like she was having her testicles pinched by a vice grip (realizing full well, she has no testicles--I just can't recall a sound like that one made by any mammal that wasn't involving severe distress of one's nards). So I get blamed for hurting her at this point--freakin' rat. Should have let the cotton balled moth go down. As her drowned pelt scurried around the terra firma, Hunter was busy chasing Savannah down as she ascended Everest.
By this time, things were getting out of hand. Shari was just starting to calm down to the point that she could understand monosyllabic words spoken very slowly. Savannah climbed to the top of the large boulder formation and looked down at all the excitement. She was glowing with the success of reaching the summit of such an incredibly substantial hill--she must have been 10, maybe even 11 feet high (according to later accounts of the story, I heard that she was at least 5 stories high). She stopped there for a moment to pose for a photo-op as Hunter chased her down from behind. My cries of "Hunter, get your butt back here!" were to no avail. He pursued Savannah like a jealous husband finding his wife's car and his best friend's car parked next to each other at the Super 8 on some abandoned stretch of highway. There was to be no stopping him.
Savannah must have heard the commotion down below and had no intention of taking the long way home, not when everybody was so close. Before anybody could even realize what was going on, she pushed off with all of the beagleness she could muster and after propelling herself about a foot and a half out to a ledge of rocks just below her take-off point, her gigantic ears were not able to sustain the Dumbo-like results she was expecting and her flight that showed so much promise on take-off turned out to be (to quote Les Nesman of WKRP fame) plummoting to the earth like a giant sack of wet cement. Oh the humanity, indeed. Shari still shell-shocked from Kaylee's near drowning was now paralyzed with uncontrollable panic. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Savannah! Oh my God! Oh my God! Savannah!!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Savannah! Oh my God!" Aparently she had been reduced to these prominent (but relatively useless in most situations) four words of the English language.
She ran over to find the rat buried up to her stomach as her legs disappeared into the soft earth below the rocks. Suddenly a quadraplegic rodent, she had become a weiner dog in every sense of the word. She let out a grunt of some sort and we weren't really sure what to make of the whole scene. Had she landed two feet in any direction, she would have broken at least a couple of legs and probably killed herself. Instead, she got the wind knocked out of her and looked like a freaking daredevil. She was the envy of every NY City sewer rat--she had done her breed proud, but this was of no consolation to Shari. "Oh my God! I can't breathe. Oh my God! Oh my God! Savannah, I can't breathe."
Kim at this point after realizing that Savannah was going to live started laughing uncontrollably. She was doubled over nearly peeing herself. I was looking around for a McDonalds cup for her, but there were none around. Oh well, the van already smelled like urine, what difference would a soaked pair of Jeans make in my life? Shari held Savannah and kept muttering, "Oh my God! I can't breathe. My heart. Oh my God, my heart. Savannah, Oh my God, I can't breathe." At least now she was up to 9 words, but she didn't look any better than she had. Joany started asking about the string cheese again and I realized that we better forage ahead. The challenge now was that we had to cross back over the way we came. There was no freaking way Gramma G and Joany were going to cross that treacherous log again. Not after the carnage we just witnessed. I walked up to the left and surveyed the creek to see if there was a better place to cross that wouldn't involve such a necessity of coordination and balance. There was a spot to cross, but we would be forced to immerse the bottoms of our shoes in the water at a couple of spots. The fear that gripped Gramma G and Joany was somewhat understated compared to the paralysis that Shari still found herself under, but neither was looking forward to crossing those rolicking waters. Hunter jumped right out there and his pants were now drenched up to the thighs--never happier by the way. I played Scout master and led the two crazy ladies reluctantly, but safely to the other side. Shari, still mired in a catatonic state, followed Kim across. She may have been to consumed with muttering those nine words that she didn't recognize the obvious dangers in crossing the riptide without a harness, but before we knew it, we popped out on the other side to the safety of the sandy path.
The treachery and doom of this day was far from finished, however and as we all took delight in the delicacies of juice boxes and string cheese, no one could possibly anticipate what still awaited us.
Editor's Note: You may notice that there are two postings from today. If you are completely lost at this point, you probably missed part IV just below. I will not be able to write tomorrow morning, so the final installment of this adventure will not be posted until tomorrow (Wednesday). Sorry for the confusion and hope that you are enjoying the ride.